I Myself Am Strange and Unusual

i tried, i really tried to be there for you and to care about you. but you make that impossible when you run back to your mistakes, or should i say poor choices. and it’s these poor choices that lead you into heavy thinking at night and wonder what you’re doing with your life.

and so again, you’re going to waste you’re time, and it’s going to go sour, fast. and i’m not going to be that friend to pick you up. because unlike you, i’m doing something with my life, and you’re going nowhere. and i feel sorry for you. i wish i could help you. but you can’t help the helpless. 

you don’t deserve me as anything. you sure as hell don’t deserve me as a friend. i have proven that i can be there in your time of need. but you have proven that you’re always going to be capable of hurting me and the others around you. i don’t want to hurt anymore. i don’t want to know you anymore. 

this is where we go our own ways. my was is looking great, it’s called a future. you should try it.

i just really want to meet a boy that will change my outlook on boys. almost every boy i have dated or talked to have somehow or someway completely fucked me over, hurt me, or took advantage of me. and made me believe that it was my fault. they make me think that there is something wrong with me, that i’m not good enough and that i must change either something or everything about me because i don’t compare to their image of a perfect girl, or just a girl they’re hung up on. 

a lot of girls think that boys don’t get hung up on their first love, but i believe they do. which isn’t a bad thing at all.

my ideal boyfriend;

• someone i could cuddle with and watch boy meets world, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, blue valentine, workaholics, the office, adventure time, and friends.
•  look me in the eyes, and then kiss my nose at least 5 times a day.
• while holding my hand squeeze it three times in a row (representing i love you.)
• a boy who will not care that i have a daughter, and if we were to get serious care for her as much as he does me.
• in college, with a job, and can drive.
• loves green day and my chemical romance at least half as much as i do.
• if i’m over thinking things and being an emotional wreck, calm me down.

now all i have to do is find you..

I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already, but 

It’s never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.